Monday, December 17, 2007

Another week of weekdays..


Weekends are something we miss like missing a hot cup of coffee on a lazy day... 
Laziness is itself a bliss, it creeps into the body like a dear old friend and lingers like the same dear friend who just refuses to go away after a booze party..
Hence, weekends=missing coffee=laziness
This relationship deserves a minute or so of your "working " and "awake" brain. (I know its difficult to be in a wakeful state after a weekend)

On the lazy day (s), when the soul so dearly wants a cuppa hot coffee, the muscles in the body just simply fail to move to reach the kitchen table to make one. But the coffee is there.. lurking and inviting...

The weekend is also like that. It stays around the corner, but it is inaccessible for another 5 long days... You just need to push your way through the week to grab it again , jus like u must drag your mass to the kitchen to make a coffee for u...
Lets face it..AGAIN... happy week full of weekdays..

-DiDo ('YOUR EXOTIC BROWN AUTHOR')

Friday, December 14, 2007

DiDo's doodad...part 1


True to my blog's middle name, I have always been eccentric... (my middlename is also 'eccentric')

The list of things I did or I do, always irritates people mostly because I live in a uniquely funny world, that they find hard to accept.

Now declared that I have been this way for more 2 decades from my birth, you have to listen to the gadgets that used for making fashion statements:

MyGadgets for MYSELF have been umpteen...

One fine day, way back in 1999, (umpph...a decade ago..), I realised that I was late to meet my friend..(NOTE: she was a creepy highly emaciated creature who hardly used her senses)..Hence, being pretty late, I desperately required something to match my traditional 'Kurta'*.

You must always recall that genius comes in a squishy mess. My wardrobe was a genius too.

It was fraught with absolutely cranky mix of traditional and western clothes that were living together in symbiosis. In the exact 34 nanoseconds I had in hand before rushing out of the house to my friend's place, I had to choose some pants to match my red kurta. And...all that I could get hold of was a pair of blue jeans. So who cares. I wore this red kurta with a blue classical levi.

And,

I started dashing towards the creepy-buddy's residence...

She almost swooned when she saw my dress and started accusing me of creating such a fashion faux-pas by sporting such a weird cranky look.I didnt realise that I would look so damn misplaced in the society. But all this or the stares from people on the streets on my funny combination wouldnot stop me from making such bold cranky statements.

I continued this style.



I dont recall when, but suddenly in my country there was trend (few years later), when pretty ladies (and ugly ones also) followed the fashion-mantra (whatever the shit it means) and started sporting Indo-western wear. And know what? the same society that so badly accused me of an eccentricly misplaced costume sense, now started wearing similar stuff after reading a fashion article on a magazine that can only be read by members of the BUSSW (Brainless and utterly sissy society for Women).

Also I always used to spruce up a list of unidentified and grossly peculiar, shockingly designed accessories...I had this black color intricate designed tattoo jewellery which my grandmom always desperately wanted to shooooo away thinking that it was a creepy insect thronging at my ankle (it was supposed to be an anklet)

This is just episode 1.


But am sure, that gradually in a few days or few months, as my amnesia unveils, I can educate my dear readers on such ABCD (ABsolutely Cranky Doodads). If u r curious on how it would help u...well all that I can say is FOLLOW THE CULT...
*which is a long Indian dress that needs to be worn with a similar colored or patterned traditional pants
-DiDo ('YOUR EXOTIC BROWN AUTHOR')

Thursday, December 13, 2007

What powdered garlic can do early in the morning?



When u sprinkle 0.5g of powdered garlic on ur grub during breakfast:

1. It can make u feel like throwing up the coffee u just had

2. U may actually puke


3. It always brings this reaction, when u want to look ur best (mayb to meet somebody)


4. It can make ur neck sprain feel worser


5. It can make a feeling seem funny


- The feeling I mentioned is the raise in a mixture of gases up your oesophagus, when u guzzle an aerated drink, mostly the coke
-DiDo ('YOUR EXOTIC BROWN AUTHOR')

Dido geezers blog: The adipose oppugnant...

Dido geezers blog: The adipose oppugnant...

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

The adipose oppugnant...

As the holiday season starts at full swing, most of us* are looking forward to hogging some foods certified by the FHA (Food Hogging Authority, Miasmaburg) to promise some highly rampant growth of adipose cells.


Look at this closely
Again..
As u see above, we cannot classify this phenonmenon entirely to holiday seasons. It happens at all possible situations, and at all possible timelines and places.

The 'growth' is expected to occur in individuals worldwide**, and its believed to become a pandemic (with minor exceptions as stated in **).

Basically blame it on the SMCA syndrome (Senseless mushrooming Compusive Advertisement Syndrome), that compells us to buy 10E5 products that are so glossified in hoardings, radios, TVs, papers, milk cartons, internet, emails as side banners and various other entertainment resources (also blogs...) Infact these products provide a soothing effect u even when u suffer from the anguish of not attending a party or not meeting up ur boyfriend or not able to submit ur report on time and in such highly demanding situations..U take a bite u get an ounce of renewed face-the-dearies-of-life energy... (Yes i mean the choclate BARS or high calorie cakes..)

But while hogging is at one hand, also consider the fact that life is about abstinance from whatever things you are supposed to be away from (until u dont get a psychic disorder called 'schizophernia' because u didnot eat french fries for 23 days listening to my advice or worser, u r gonna die of coke-thirst, mind u! "coke-thirst" that cannot be satiated even after drinking gallons of water or tea or anyother liquid entity)


To listen wisely, we sought the view of Dr. Fatmutant De fries. ***

"Ride ur way to a slim-line"
-Dr De Fries 

We hear vibrations inside his reverberant brain as De Fries says, 'its a matter of choice, if u think u must lose ur flabs, u must consider some impractical methods that come free, like jogging, starving and so on , or become more practical , invest some money and visit my clinic.'


Ardent smoke pot 'Anonymous' says: 'its just like cigarrete packs, they come with a warning, similarly foods come with a calorie information'



So, its a world of abstinance and temptations, but look at the poetic consequence of hogging;
if u are in love with a over-weight, slim-challenged girlfriend or boyfriend (or both),
u can write poetry superflous with a range of popular cookie brands...
So go on...Hogging...
(or dont... :P) 

*the word 'us' gladly embraces the slim waistline privledged earthlings...also poeple like myself with few extra pounds..yes... 'few'..! 

**except calorie deprived regions from developing countries (the vaccine of poverty is there in their blood)...Yes! think about them the next time you gonna waste your food...

***He gladly sits at the anti-obese clinic and runs a full time clinic that provides low calorie hot dogs, low fat french fries, Zero carbohydrate hamburger (it weighs 1 gram and is certified to fit into microscopic dimensions), also some life style drugs that when applied to eyes to ur boyfriend, would make him quasi-blind so he wouldnot notice ur extra flabs...Also the clinic has some less expensive equipments to work out, like, a hot red color bicycle and a 60-kg bag of basmati rice that needs to go into Doctor's kitchen at his home (located 12 kms away). (If u like to donate to the work-out equipments, the doctor prefers paypal)

The adipose oppugnant...


As the holiday season starts at full swing, most of us* are looking forward to hogging some foods certified by the FHA (Food Hogging Authority, Miasmaburg) to promise some highly rampant growth of adipose cells.

Look at this closely



Again..


As u see above, we cannot entirely classify this phenonmenon to holiday seasons. It happens at all possible situations, and at all possible timelines and places.

The 'growth' is expected to cover the whole earth**, and its believed to become a pandemic (with minor exceptions as stated in **).

Basically blame it on the SMCA syndrome (Senseless mushrooming Compusive Advertisement Syndrome), that compells us to buy 10E5 products that are so glossified in hoardings, radios, TVs, papers, milk cartons, internet, emails as side banners and various other entertainment resources (also blogs...). Infact dont they soothe u even when u suffer from the anguish of not attending a party or not meeting up ur boyfriend or not able to submit ur report on time and in such highly demanding situations?? (Yes i mean the choclate BARS)

But life is about abstinance from whatever things your are supposed to be away from (until u dont get a psychic disorder called 'schizophernia' because u didnot eat french fries for 23 days listening to my advice or worser, u r gonna die of coke-thirst, mind u! coke-thirst that cannot be satiated even after drinking gallons of water or tea or anyother liquid entity)

To listen wisely, we sought the view of Dr. Fatmutant De fries. ***

We hear vibrations inside his reverberant brain as he says, 'its a matter of choice, if u think u must lose ur flabs, u must consider some impractical methods that come free, like jogging, starving and so on , or become more practical , invest some money and visit my clinic.'


Ardent smoke pot 'Anonymous' says: 'its just like cigarrete packs, they come with a warning, similarly foods come with a calorie information'

So, its a world of abstinance and temptations, but look at the poetic consequence of hogging;
if u are in love with a over-weight, slim-challenged girlfriend or boyfriend (or both),
u can write poetry superflous with a range of popular cookie brands...
So go on...Hogging...
(or dont...)

*the word 'us' gladly embraces the slim waistline privledged earthlings...also poeple like myself with few extra pounds..yes... 'few'..!

**except calorie deprived regions from developing countries (the vaccine of poverty is there in their blood)...Yes! think about them the next time you gonna waste your food...
***He gladly sits at the anti-obese clinic and runs a full time clinic that provides low calorie hot dogs, low fat french fries, Zero carbohydrate hamburger (it weighs 1 gram and is certified to fit into microscopic dimensions), also some life style drugs that when applied to eyes to ur boyfriend, would make him quasi-blind so he wouldnot notice ur extra flabs...Also the clinic has some less expensive equipments to work out, like, a hot red color bicycle and a 60-kg bag of basmati rice that needs to go into Doctor's kitchen at his home (located 12 kms away). (If u like to donate to the work-out equipments, the doctor prefers paypal)

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Not only me...


I thought i was crazy...

I am crazy infact...



But look at this my childhood friend is ALSO very crazy... I think we grew up in a phenonmenon that fostered in us all these wacky dimensions. What my friend wrote in a post of a internet social network run by Google called orkut:
Hey I am from the janitor of ORKUT, evrybody sorry for the interupption, but before orkut is closing the system down because too many botter are taking up all the names, we only have 57 names left.
NOW TELL ME WHO THE HELL BROKE OUR ORKUT OFFICE BLOCK 29-C's URINAL CLOSET, BEFORE I END UP HACKING YOU TO DEATH..!!! .
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO END YOUR LIFE IN MY HANDS FOR A URINAL CLOSET, DONT SEND THIS MESSAGE , IF YOU WANT TO LIVE A LITTLE LONGER, THEN SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE INSIDE AND OUTSIDE ORKUT, EVEN YOU CAN TAKE A PRINT AND PASTE IT ON UR LOCAL AREA RESIDENTIAL WALLS, YOU WILL BE SORRY IF YOU DONT SEND IT. THANKS DIRECTOR OF ORKUT FOR REDUCING MY SALARY FOR A BROKEN URINAL CLOSET . WHO EVER DOESNT SEND THIS MESSAGE, YOUR LIFE WILL BE IN THE HANDS OF A PSYCHOTIC KILLER IN SEARCH OF A ACCUSED WHO INTENDLY BROKEN THE URINAL CLOSET IN-ORDER SUSPEND ME ..!!


So, this is to inform the public that these sorts of messages are just ANOTHER form of spamming (as told by my boyfriend...). Stop encouraging spams, they come free but they persist like a bad dysentry.

-DiDo